#37: When Do You Truly Become an Adult?

☀️  The Illusion of the Finish Line

You hit 18 and expect to feel different. Then 21. Then 25. Maybe 30? At some point, you're supposed to cross an invisible threshold and suddenly know what you're doing: have your finances sorted, your career on track, a clear sense of direction.

But what if that moment never comes? Or worse, what if it keeps moving?

Here's the strange part: science now tells us the adolescent brain doesn't fully mature until age 32. That's a full decade past the age when previous generations were expected to have it all figured out. The traditional markers of adulthood (stable career, marriage, home ownership) are either delayed, optional, or completely reimagined depending on who you ask and when they were born.

A Baby Boomer's definition of "being an adult" looks nothing like a Millennial's, and Gen Z is writing entirely new rules. Side hustles are replacing corporate ladders. The quarter-life crisis has overtaken the midlife crisis. The old script (graduate, marry, career, retire, done) has been torn up, and nobody handed out a new one.

This edition is about the disappearing finish line of adulthood and why the question "when do you actually grow up?" no longer has a single answer.

📖 3 Articles to Spark Your Curiosity

1. Different Generation, Different Priorities
   Baby Boomers filled their homes with furniture meant to last a lifetime. Gen X and Millennials prefer spending money on experiences, travel, and time with friends over maintaining property or replacing household items. A look at how each generation defines what it means to live well.
   → Read on FYI 50+
   
   

2. Why Side Hustles Are Reshaping Careers in the Future of Work
   In 2024, 36% of American adults had a side hustle, earning an average of $891 a month. Over 4 million freelancers now make over $100,000 annually. The article explores how digital platforms, fractional roles, and portfolio careers are replacing the traditional corporate ladder.
   → Read on Entrepreneur
   
   

3. Scientists Identify Five Ages of the Human Brain Over a Lifetime
   Cambridge researchers analyzed brain scans from nearly 4,000 people and found four major turning points: ages 9, 32, 66, and 83. The adolescent brain doesn't finish developing until the early thirties, when neural wiring finally shifts into "adult mode."
   → Read on University of Cambridge

🗞️ 3 Headlines Worth Exploring

1. The Quarter-Life Crisis Is the New Midlife Crisis
   Research across 34 countries shows the traditional "midlife unhappiness hump" has disappeared. Young people now report the highest levels of mental distress, while older adults remain relatively stable. The shift started around 2011, with 75% of 25- to 33-year-olds reporting they've experienced a quarter-life crisis.
   → Read on El País
   
   

2. Scientists Discover That People Act Better When Batman Is Present
   Researchers found that when a person dressed as Batman stood on a Milan subway, passengers were nearly twice as likely to offer their seat to a pregnant woman. The most striking detail? 44% of those who helped didn't even consciously notice Batman was there, suggesting unexpected disruptions can just jolt us out of autopilot.
   → Read on Futurism
   
   

3. Foods That Help You Stay Awake
   A practical guide to managing energy throughout the day without relying on caffeine crashes. The article covers which foods provide sustained alertness (bananas, nuts, green tea) and which ones drain your focus (high-sugar snacks, heavy fats).
   → Read on Real Simple

☀️ 3 Actions to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

1. Map your own milestones
   Instead of measuring yourself against traditional markers of adulthood (marriage, home ownership, promotions), write down five moments in your life when you felt genuinely capable, responsible, or proud. These are your real milestones. Notice how many of them don't fit the conventional script.

2. The "Batman Disruption" walk
   Take a different route on your daily commute or morning walk this week. The goal isn't exercise, but breaking autopilot. When you disrupt routine, even slightly, you become more present and aware of your surroundings. Notice what you see that you've been missing.

3. Ask someone from a different generation
   Find someone at least 15 years older or younger than you and ask them: "When did you first feel like an adult?" Listen to their answer without comparing it to your own experience. You'll likely discover that nobody really knows when it happens, and I’d say that’s oddly reassuring.

⚡ 6 Quick Resources

🧠 To watch: 3 Ways the Brain Creates Meaning
Information designer Tom Wujec explores three areas of the brain that help us understand words, images, feelings, and connections. A short look at how our brains process and make sense of the world.
→ Watch on TED

🎓 To learn: When Are You Actually an Adult?
A TED-Ed lesson that explores the biological, legal, and cultural definitions of adulthood. Spoiler: they don't line up, and that's causing a lot of confusion.
→ Learn on TED-Ed

🤖 To read: Gemini Refused to Believe It Was 2025
Google's AI chatbot had a brief existential crisis when it couldn't accept that 2025 had arrived. Looks like even machines struggle with the passage of time.
→ Read on TechCrunch

🔬 To check: The 25 Most Significant Breakthroughs of the 21st Century
Experts compile the innovations that have shaped our lives over the past 25 years, from smartphones to CRISPR gene editing.
→ Read on Science Focus

🌱 To keep in mind: Plants Go Through Puberty Too
Researchers discovered that plants experience a puberty-like phase, undergoing dramatic changes before they can reproduce. So it’s us and nature against the awkward teenage years!
→ Read on University of York

🦁 To explore: The Social Behavior of Animals Changes With Age
A look at how animals navigate different life stages, from youthful play to elder wisdom. It’s quite interesting to see how aging shapes behavior across the animal kingdom.
→ Read on Natural Habitat Adventures

🎲 This week’s wonderfully random corner of the internet 

🗺️ Spotless

A practical tool for life's little disasters. Select the type of stain (coffee, red wine, mustard, blood) and the fabric it's on (cotton, silk, polyester), and Spotless gives you clear, step-by-step instructions to fix it. No ads, no tracking, just the answer to "how do I get this out?"

→ Fix your messes at spotless.neocities.org

📝 Word of the Week

Liminality (from Latin limen, meaning "threshold") - The state of occupying the space between two distinct phases of life or identity. You’re neither here nor there, but simply in between.

In anthropology, liminality describes the middle stage of a rite of passage, when you've left behind who you were but haven't yet become who you'll be. The adolescent brain exists in a state of liminality from age 9 to 32. Your twenties are liminal. Changing careers is liminal. That moment when you realize the old rules no longer apply, but the new ones haven't solidified yet? That's liminality.

It's uncomfortable because social structures dissolve. You lack the clear markers and scripts that once told you who you were. But liminality is also where transformation happens. It's the threshold where everything is uncertain, but anything is possible.

🧘‍♀️ Question of the Week for Introspection

Think about the last time you felt truly "grown up." What were you doing, and what made that moment feel different from all the times before when you still felt like you were pretending?

See you next Sunday! Until then, keep your eyes open, your questions big, and your sense of wonder alive.

Your curious internet friend,
Ruxandra