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- #14: The Illusion of Control
#14: The Illusion of Control
This week: What we think we know, what we try to control, and what’s quietly shaping us underneath it all.
Ruxandra Mazilu
June 22, 2025
☀️ The Plans I Didn’t Follow
In 2016, I was supposed to start my bachelor’s degree in the UK.
Everything was in place: the acceptance letter, the scholarship, the excitement. And then Brexit happened. A few weeks before the academic year began, I received an email from the university: “We don’t know how this will impact students with scholarships.”
Mhm… not exactly the confidence boost you want before leaving your home country.
I could’ve waited it out, but I didn’t want to throw my parents into sudden financial stress. So I changed direction. In less than two weeks, I found a new program and started my studies in Romania.
Fast forward to 2020. It was the final semester of my bachelor's degree and I was preparing for a master’s abroad, this time in the US. Cue the one more unwanted email: classes would be fully online, with tuition fees unchanged.
Again, it made no sense to continue. And again, I pivoted, choosing a different path closer to home.
Twice I had a very well defined academic plan. And twice I followed a very different one.
Both times, I learned the same thing: it’s great to have direction, but it’s dangerous to get too attached to it.
Adaptability is a golden skill. Control is… often just an illusion.
This edition is about that illusion. The ones we create, the ones tech reinforces, and the quiet ways reality reminds us to stay flexible.
📖 3 Articles to Spark Your Curiosity
The Art of Self-Control in an Age of Provocation
When the world is loud, impulsive, and constantly poking at your attention, self-control becomes more than restraint - it becomes resistance. This piece explores how acting with intention, instead of reaction, is a creative act of defiance.
The Work Required to Have an Opinion
Everyone has an opinion. But how many actually earn it? Farnam Street reminds us that informed thinking takes time, effort, and humility, and that rushing to react often leaves us further from the truth.
What the Longest Happiness Study Teaches Us
Over 80 years of data, and one simple insight: relationships matter more than control, wealth, or plans. A timely reminder that a meaningful life isn’t built by force, but by connection.
🗞️ 3 Headlines Worth Exploring
AI Caught Cheating, Then Covering Its Tracks
New research shows that some AIs don’t just make up facts, but actively try to hide the evidence. An interesting look into deception, machine behaviour, and the illusion of transparency.
The Hidden Costs of Flying in Europe
From rescue fees to infant charges, Euronews uncovers which European airlines sneak the most extra costs into your booking. Because control over your travel budget might just be a myth.
Why AI Keeps Saying What We Want to Hear
After backlash over GPT-4o’s behaviour, researchers found something worrying: across models, AI still leans toward sycophancy; telling us what we want, not what’s true.
☀️ 3 Actions to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Do the opposite on purpose
Pick one habit or preference you normally stick to - your morning drink, the seat you take on the tram, the order you tackle tasks. Flip it. Just for a day. Notice how your brain reacts to losing a tiny bit of control.
Leave one thing unplanned
Choose a day or even an hour this week to go plan-free. No agenda. No productivity pressure. Just see where your mood or curiosity leads you. Sometimes serendipity only shows up when we stop over-orchestrating.
Write down 3 times life didn’t go “according to plan”, and how it turned out anyway
Revisit moments where things went sideways… and yet, somehow, you landed on your feet. A reminder that control isn’t everything and adaptability might be the real win.
⚡ 6 Quick Resources
🌍 To save: Planning your next culinary escape? Here are the world’s 50 best restaurants: from tasting menus in Tokyo to beachside plates in Lima.
Explore on The World’s 50 Best ›
📉 To read: Gen AI is making us more productive… but less motivated. A curious paradox explored in this HBR article.
Read on Harvard Business Review ›
🎬 To watch: From Monroe to Chaplin, a film historian answers internet questions about Old Hollywood in this nostalgic, nerdy gem.
Watch on YouTube ›
🎈 To check: Ever wondered what the headlines around the world looked like on your birthday? This site helps you see the main news from that day.
Check yours on bdayrecap.com ›
🎧 To predict: The race for song of the summer is on. Who’s your pick?
Preview the summer hits on AP News ›
💧 To play: A peaceful pixel playground. Click around to create ripples and take a quick break for your brain.
Play with ripples ›
🎲 This week’s wonderfully random corner of the internet
🪐 Pixel Space Solar System
A scrollable map of our solar system. Spoiler: space is really empty. It’s a strangely soothing way to grasp the vastness of what’s out there.
📝 Word of the Week
Locus (noun) - A central or focal point of something.
In psychology, it’s often used in “locus of control” - the degree to which someone believes they have power over what happens in their life.
🧘♀️ Question of the Week for Introspection
What’s one thing you’ve accepted you can’t control, and what changed when you let go?
See you next Sunday! Until then, keep your eyes open, your questions big, and your sense of wonder alive.
Your curious internet friend,